21 CELL PHONE TELL-TALE SIGNS YOUR PARTNER IS HAVING AN AFFAIR

 

IS YOUR SPOUSE SUDDENLY MORE PROTECTIVE OF HIS/HER PHONE CONVERSATIONS?

SOMETHING IS UP and you are wondering what. You feel that something is just not right. One clue is that your spouse is suddenly acting differently with his or her use of the cell phone? He/she is more protective of it's whereabouts, and he/she acts nervous or edgy when it goes off around you. Start keeping a journal of clues. Pay closer attention to his/her cell phone behaviors and ask yourself these questions:

1) He/she sleeps with the cell phone by his/her side.
2) He/she brings the cell phone into the bathroom and locks the door.
3) He/she has more than one SIM card.
4) He/she has more than one cell phone (one might be pre-paid, impossible to track)
5) Your calls to his/her cell phone are unanswered.
6) His/her cell phone is switched off whenever you call.
7) He/she tells you that you can call at another cell number.
8) His/her phone is equipped with multi-card/duo SIM card.
9) He deletes the SMS/MMS messages from his cell phone.
10) Intimate SMS/MMS messages in his/her cell phone that were not sent by you.
11) He/she clears the call list from cell phone.
12) His/her cell phone bill has restrictions that keep you from getting information on it. 
13) Whispering or speaking softly into the phone.
14) Hangs up the phone when you surprise him/her.
15) You answer the phone in his/her absence and the caller hangs up.
16) You answer the phone in his/her absence and the caller asks for someone else.
17) After a phone call he/she must run to a sudden activity (emergency). 
18) Background noise during calls does not sound like where he/she is supposed to be.
19) HIs/her secretary addresses you wrongly when you call him. 
20) Cell phone numbers on the family plan that aren't accounted for. 
21) He/she uses a different kind of cell phone from you. 

LEARN HOW TO NAVIGATE YOUR SPOUSE'S PHONE

HOW CAN YOU KNOW FOR SURE? GET ACQUAINTED WITH HIS/HER PHONE

1. First acquaint yourself with his/her phone and how to navigate it. He/she probably has a different kind of phone from you for a reason. Learn how to check the text messages, emails, recent phone calls, and contacts.If a friend has the same kind, ask them. If not, you can learn how to anything online. Google it. 
2. Then you may test them by asking to borrow their cell phone and see their reaction. If they seem alarmed, or give excuses, this is a major sign. Say that you are thinking of getting the same kind of phone and wonder how easy it is to use. If he/she shows discomfort with this, go to step 3.
3. You will need to confiscate the cell phone when he/she is not looking. Take it to the "bathroom" with you. How do you get your hands on his/her phone?                                           

• While he/she is in the shower
• At night while he/she is asleep
• Any time he/she sets it down and get's distracted, 
• He/she is mowing the lawn, watching TV, scrounging through the refrigerator, etc. 

                                                                                                                                         YOU HAVE HIS/HER PHONE.....NOW WHAT???

1. You have hold of the phone, play music from your iPod or something for background sound. Put the phone on "silent" mode, then check the list of contacts. Are there any names that shouldn't be there, or that you are unfamiliar with? Write down their names and numbers. Or take pictures of it with your phone or camera. Then redial some of the recent calls, and see who answers and how. "Hello darling," etc. will be a very good sign. Remember that some of the names may be fictitious.....Bob Plummer might really be Monica Freelove. 
2. If his/her phone rings and he/she is not around, answer it but don't say anything and wait for the other person to speak first.  
3. Go through the list of contacts and call from a safe number, or have a friend call. Find out discreetly who they are and what their relationship is to your spouse. Listen for any signs of discomfort or scrambling for an explanation. "Hello, I was given your number as one who might have the contact info for (name of spouse). It's very important." Then listen. They will either act like they don't know who you are talking about, or be overly friendly about helping out, or will hang up. A non-guilty person will be careful about who you are and be protective of their friend or colleague. 
4. When all else fails, if you feel like something is not right, your instincts are usually right (unless you tend to be insecure and are a naturally jealous person). When he/she meets you next, act like you have just discovered the truth. Look angry. Say "I just found out about you and that woman/man!" They don't know what you know or don't know. Even if you haven't a clue, watch their reaction. If it is total panic, face drop, face turn white....you know you have him/her. Continue with the "how could you!" He/she will usually counter with "how did you find out," "who told you?" "It's not what you think" "I can explain...." and then "what are you going to do about it?" They will often confess at that point. If they look truly confused, then they probably are innocent. 

If this spouse is abusive then you should skip this step and just plain get out. Confrontation with an abusive spouse will be dangerous. Wait until you are ready. Future blogs will discuss abuse and how to get out safely, starting with post number six. 

DO NOT CONFRONT AN ABUSIVE SPOUSE

It is important that you don't act weird while you are sleuthing. Be natural and not overly friendly yourself. These are just a few cell phone hints. More signs of affairs to come.