33 FINANCIAL/WORK: Tell-Tale Signs Your Spouse Is Having an Affair

HOW TRANSPARENT ARE YOUR FINANCES BETWEEN YOU? 

                 IS YOUR SPOUSE CHEATING ON YOU?

You are picking up clues here and there that something is just not normal about your spouse's dealing with money and career behaviors. You may not be able to put your finger on it exactly, but there is that nagging feeling. Is it based on anything? Ask yourself these questions.

1.  There are extra credit cards in his/her wallet that you knew nothing about.
2. There area credit card purchases of gifts and other items not meant for you.
3. Credit card statements are sent to another address. 
4. Receipts of items not purchased for you, found on him/her.
5. Extra money that is not accounted for.
6. Small, intimate gifts in his/her possession not given by you.
7. Travels for "work" more than usual.
8. Not letting you know of the flight details when traveling.
9. Not letting you know the hotel he/she stays at while traveling.
10. Coming back from traveling with gifts, such as perfume, claiming he bought it in behalf of a friend.
11. Suddenly interested in buying sexy lingerie/underwear.
12. Sexy lingerie/underwear is found in the suitcase/bag, trunk of car....
13. He washes his underwear while taking his shower.
14. He comes home with fresh underwear.
15. He/she leaves home fresh in the morning, and comes home fresh in the evening.
16. He/she makes financial decisions without discussing it with you.
17. He/she entertains too frequently.
18. He/she gives excuses for coming home late from work every night, or often.
19. Avoids having dinner with you.
20. Suddenly becomes calculative in the families expenditures.
21. Accounts with banks unknown to you.
22. Hotel receipts in his/her possession.
23. Hotel business cards in his/her possession.
24. Gas station receipts that are from stations not on the way to or from work.
25. Comes home from work wearing a different shirt.
26. Shows interest in items for females while shopping with you.
27. Unpaid parking tickets sent to your house from places after work hours he should not be.
28. Goes to "work" on Saturdays, or during family gatherings.
29. Suddenly takes more time in appearance for going to "work" and "meetings," church or otherwise.
30. Buys new suit/dress/clothes for work or church, but doesn't wear them with you.
31. Is more worried about the car being clean.
32. He/she might want to purchase a car that is more sporty and gives a better impression.
33. He/she tells you to no longer put away savings. He/she is taking care of that. 

IS HE/SHE MORE STINGY WITH THE MONEY LATELY?

                              HOW DO YOU FIND OUT FOR SURE?

You may have to do some snooping to see if any of these are true.

• When he claims to be at work on a Saturday, for instance, go along with it. Later take a drive to the office and see if his/her car is parked out front. If it is, is it the only car or is another one there too? You have every right to check it out. You may even take a picture of the empty parking lot, or the other car parked by his/hers, including the license plate. If you have a police friend, ask them to look up the plate number. 
• Check out all of his/her claims for validity. "I went with Jill to lunch." Call Jill. 
• Look through the luggage before and after a "business trip." 
• Keep a diary of the things that seem out of place (in a secure place). 
• Don't buy the "I'm doing this for you honey" line when he/she is explaining the extra time spent away from home. 
• It takes time, energy, and lots of money to keep up two life-tyles, especially when one is hidden. 
• Trust your instincts. But don't confront him/her yet. There are more signs to consider and questions to ask yourself that will be discussed in future blogs.

MY "POST DIVORCE" TRIP TO TURKEY AND GREECE