SURVEY RESULTS FOR LDS DIVORCED WOMEN, part 1

                                                 

THE DYNAMICS OF DIVORCE FROM THE WOMEN'S PERSPECTIVE

Over the major part of 2012 and 2013, divorced members of the LDS faith participated in a multi-national survey. Respondents included members residing in the U.S., Europe, the British Isles, New Zealand, and Canada, the majority of input coming from Utah, California, and Idaho. This is part one of the survey for LDS Divorced Women. 

                                       QUESTIONS 1-5

1. WHO WAS THE PARTNER TO FILE FOR THE DIVORCE?

• The Wife..................................................................................................71.4%
• The Husband...........................................................................................17.7%
• Joint Decision..........................................................................................10.9

2. WHAT WERE THE REASONS FOR THE DIVORCE?

• Abuse: emotional, physical, sexual, verbal, isolation, control, etc............60.2%
• Infidelity...................................................................................................56.5%
• Addiction: porn, pedophilia, drugs, alcohol, money, sex, etc...................44.7%
• Personality Disorders: bi-polar, depression, narcissism, sociopathic, etc..37.9%
• Finances: no job, not enough money, controlling, etc..............................24.8%
• Same Sex Attraction..................................................................................5.6%

3. HOW MANY YEARS WERE YOU MARRIED?

• Less than one year...................................................................................11.8%
• Between one and five years.....................................................................33.5%
• Between six and ten years........................................................................29.4%
• Between eleven and twenty years............................................................20.6%
• Between twenty one and forty years..........................................................4.7%
• More than forty years.................................................................................0.6%

 4. HOW MANY YEARS DID YOU STAY IN THE MARRIAGE WHILE IT WAS "BAD?"

• Less than a year.....................................................................................11.8%
• Between one and five years...................................................................33.5%
• Between six and ten years......................................................................29.4%
• Between eleven and twenty years..........................................................20.6%
• Between twenty one and forty years........................................................4.7%
• More than forty years...............................................................................0.0%

5. ONCE YOU REALIZED THAT YOU WERE IN A "BAD" MARRIAGE, IF YOU WAITED TO GET OUT, WHAT WERE THE REASONS FOR WAITING?

• The children..............................................................................................51.8%
• Finances (couldn't afford an attorney or to survive on my own)...............26.5%
• Fear of Abuse............................................................................................14.1%
• Fear of other's reactions.........................................................................17.1%
• No support.................................................................................................17.1%
• Tried to work on fixing the marriage..........................................................68.2%

88.2% OF LDS WOMEN WAITED MANY YEARS BEFORE FILING

• Other....................................................................................................32.4%

COMMENTS ON WHY THEY WAITED :

• The number one most common answer was "Because it was a Temple marriage." 
• The second most common answer was "I feared he would take the children."
• The third most common; "I stayed until Heavenly Father told me I could go." 
• Fourth; "I did not realize that there was a problem until I found out he was cheating."
• "I wanted to try counseling first."
• "Fear in general."
• "Health problems."
• "He owed me a large sum of money."
• "I was getting an education so I could support my kids."
• "I was pregnant."
• "I didn't want to get out."
• "I was brainwashed into thinking it was my fault."
• "I was advised by my leaders to wait until HE asked for divorce." 
• "I was pressured by my church leadership not to leave him, even though he was repeatedly cheating on me."
• "I was too busy taking care of everybody, I kept giving him chances to improve and get a job."
• "I didn't realize how "bad" it was for a long time, I just thought the more righteous I was, or the harder I worked on our marriage, then it would work out. Agency exists......"
• "Stupidity."
• "The Church looked down on it."
• "I had no resources for help."
• "I had low self-esteem and no self confidence."
• "Fear of retaliation."
• "It took a few months to realize I could not fix his lifelong pattern of lying, sexual addiction, bisexual behaviors, and dishonesty."
• "Fear of the unknown, not feeling prepared, hoped it would get better, questioned myself if it was the right thing to do."
• "Fear of failure." 
• "Fear of the court system in a 'man's world.'"